


odds & ends 2 (pre-relationship)

by brightblackbird



Series: Hamanaka Fucks It Up For Everybody [5]
Category: Rookies - Morita Masanori & Related Fandoms
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Canon - Manga, Hiratsuka's Issues, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Mid-Canon, Post-Canon, Pre-Relationship, Texting, Unconnected Chapters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-21
Updated: 2018-02-22
Packaged: 2018-10-26 01:26:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 3,766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10776582
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brightblackbird/pseuds/brightblackbird
Summary: decided to split this into 2 sections, this being the ones set before they get together; some are outtakes, some just stuff i'm too lazy to write a proper story for.





	1. Chapter 1

 

 **REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
I definitely feel like friendship is a concept that could extend to you sucking my dick occasionally

 

* * *

 

 **REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
Don't make this weird  
You can suck my dick if you want but I don't want anything to do with it  
I'm not judging you or anything  
I don't care what you do with your life

 **Imaoka shinobu:**  
how can i suck your dick without making it weird

 **REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
It's actually way gayer to turn down a blowjob  
Weird is if I suck YOUR dick

 **Imaoka shinobu:**  
oh

 **REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
I didn't come up with these rules but that's how it is

 

* * *

**REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
I am the straightest man who has ever existed anywhere  
Think of me and then think of the straightest thing you can possibly imagine  
Now you're thinking about two of me and you need to stop because that will lead you down the wrong path  
But the point here is I'm the straightest guy ever  
And I'm also exactly as straight as myself  
Me equals me  
If I could find those little equal lines they would show you just how straight I am

 **Imaoka shinobu:**  
=

 **REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
Yeah those ones  
I'm like a line  
The most incredibly straight line ever  
What's that really big line that goes across the whole map

 **Imaoka shinobu:**  
that's the spot where you fold it

 **REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
NO THE MIDDLE ONE  
THE WORLD ONE

 **Imaoka shinobu:**  
the equator

 **REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
Yeah that one

 **Imaoka shinobu:**  
i always thought the equator looked kind of round on the globes in school

 **REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
I'm not talking about the globe one I'm talking about the map one  
Have you EVER seen a map  
It's clearly flat and straight  
Just like me  
I run as straight as the equator  
I don't know why all these equa things are so straight but they've got the right idea


	2. Chapter 2

**REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
Every day of my life I look in the mirror and I see the most handsome virile man on the face of the earth  
It's a heavy burden  
A lesser man would be overwhelmed  
That's you you're the lesser man  
And so I have found it in my heart to forgive you for being overcome by my animal magnetism  
And my rugged good looks  
BUT I'm putting the following rules in place  
One: no looking at me for longer than five seconds  
B: No physical contact period  
Unless I'm choking or otherwise dying  
Are you listening to me  
Imaoka  
ARE YOU PAYING ATTENTION

 **Imaoka shinobu:**  
not really, no

 **REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
WHY NOT

 **Imaoka shinobu:**  
i'm watching tv

 **REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
DO YOU WANT MY ASS OR NOT  
NOT THAT I WANT YOU TO  
BUT IF YOU DO YOU COULD AT LEAST ACT LIKE IT

 **Imaoka shinobu:**  
it's just not always my top priority

 **REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
I am TRYING to grant my forgiveness and help you in your time of need  
Even if that need is for my ass

 **Imaoka shinobu:**  
okay

 **REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
I understand how empty your life would be without me  
What with you having no other friends

 **Imaoka shinobu:**  
i have other friends

 **REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
What the fuck  
How long has this been going on  
Do you understand how lucky you are having exclusive access to ME  
You're making this up I've never seen you with them

 **Imaoka shinobu:**  
we talk about the things i can't talk about with you.

 **REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
Such as WHAT

 **Imaoka shinobu:**  
you probably don't want to know

 **REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
I DO WANT TO KNOW THATS WHY IM ASKING  
What do they have that I don't???????

 **Imaoka shinobu:**  
they're gay

 **REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
WHAT  
THE FUCK

 **Imaoka shinobu:**  
it's not that big a deal

 **REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
I GO TO ALL THIS TROUBLE  
AND YOURE NOT EVEN SAVING YOURSELF FOR ME??????

 **Imaoka shinobu:**  
...................  
we don't have sex  
they have stuff they can't talk about with their other friends  
like i do

 **REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
OH

 **Imaoka shinobu:**  
we just talk sometimes

 **REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
GOOD  
Wait  
I don't like that either  
How much do you talk to them is it 100% about me or just 99%  
Have they seen pictures of me  
Don't show them any pictures of me you'll ruin them for all other men  
Make SURE they know I'm straight  
Which pictures did you show them

 **Imaoka shinobu:**  
i haven't shown them any

 **REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
Why not???  
Which ones would you use if you did

 **Imaoka shinobu:**  
i really don't talk to them that often

 **REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
Good  
But like if I'm a 10 then what are they  
Are they 5s  
They can't be more than 5s  
But IF they were you'd have to stop hanging out with them  
It could make you more gay  
I mean you already have ME to resist and you're not exactly robust to start with

 **Imaoka shinobu:**  
i don't know  
none of them is really my type

 **REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
Then what is??????????

 **Imaoka shinobu:**  
you

 **REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
YOU THINK YOURE PRETTY SMOOTH HUH

 **Imaoka shinobu:**  
you asked.

 **REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
Let me tell you right now you're wasting your time

 **Imaoka shinobu:**  
i know.  
you're making a big deal out of this, but i'm not any different than i was last week  
you just know about it now

 **REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
WELL EXCUSE ME  
FOR BEING SURPRISED ABOUT YOU WANTING MY DICK THIS ENTIRE TIME  
IF ITS NOT A BIG DEAL WHY HAVE YOU NEVER MENTIONED IT BEFORE

 **Imaoka shinobu:**  
because i knew you'd do this

 **REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
WELL  
EXCUSE  
ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
I KNOW YOUVE HAD A HARD LIFE DEALING WITH MY OVERWHELMING ATTRACTIVENESS BUT YOU DONT GET TO TAKE IT OUT ON ME  
BECAUSE IT WAS A TOTAL ACCIDENT ON MY PART  
OK????????????

 **Imaoka shinobu:**  
okay


	3. Chapter 3

**REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
I LOVE women  
I've been very close to dating many of them  
So your whole argument falls apart  
I can't be gay if I like girls

 **Imaoka shinobu:**  
i think you can like both

 **REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
What  
How  
You mean guys AND girls??????  
How could you do that I don't get it

 **Imaoka shinobu:**  
i don't really get it either  
but i read about it somewhere

 **REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
So you wouldn't be gay even if you looked at a guy and you thought he looked kind of okay for a guy?????  
But why would anybody like guys if they didn't NOT like girls  
Like how you just have some brain thing where you can't appreciate the ladies  
So you have to settle for guys  
I mean I'm a guy and other guys are similar to me so I can understand the appeal in some ways  
I can appreciate my own masculine sexiness  
But in a different not gay way  
In many ways I'm probably more attractive than a woman but I was born a man so I have to settle for finding women and not myself attractive

 **Imaoka shinobu:**  
what does that make me?

 **REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
You didn't ask to be born with some girl parts in your brain and I forgive you for it  
When I say I'm not attracted to myself does it sound like I'm saying I have bad taste because I don't  
Have bad taste in anything  
Women are very hot and beautiful creatures  
In their own way  
They didn't ask to be less sexy than me

 **Imaoka shinobu:**  
i like being a guy  
i don't think i have any girl parts

 **REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
YOURE NOT ANSWERING MY QUESTION

 **Imaoka shinobu:**  
i don't understand your question

 **REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
DO I HAVE TO WANT TO BANG MYSELF IF IM THE PINNACLE OF HANDSOME MASCULINE HOTNESS?????  
BECAUSE THATS GAY AND I CANT BE THE PINNACLE OF MASCULINITY IF IM GAY  
WHICH ISNT EV N AN ISSUE BECAUSE IM NOT  
BUT IF IM INTO GIRLS ISNT THAT JUST SETTLING  
WHICH IS ALSO LESS THAN I EXPECT OF MYSELF  
??????????????  
I mean YOU think I'm hotter than a girl  
And a girl would also think I'm hotter than a girl  
And that's the correct opinion  
But then how can I have worse taste than YOU and also every girl in the world  
Also while I'm thinking about this why do you have bad taste in everything except me????????

 **Imaoka shinobu:**  
what about the girls who only like other girls

 **REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
WHATVTHE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT

 **Imaoka shinobu:**  
they wouldn't think you're hot

 **REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
That's insane  
You are making these girls up to confuse and harass me

 **Imaoka shinobu:**  
no, they're real  
i met some once

 **REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
I can understand thinking girls are hot but I'm not following the part where IM not hot  
Can you understand that at all

 **Imaoka shinobu:**  
no, but they seemed pretty sure about it

 **REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
You STILL haven't explained how I'm supposed to be gay for myself and straight for women at the same time!!!!!!!!  
Why would God create this paradox

 **Imaoka shinobu:**  
this sounds like math  
you'd have to ask someone who did better in school

 **REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
YOURE THE GAY EXPERT HERE  
WHAT IS THIS UNGAYNESS THING AND HOW DOES IT WORK

 **Imaoka shinobu:**  
i think it's like a different thing, it has its own name

 **REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
LOOK IT UP  
THIS SECOND  
YOU DO IT I CANT HAVE GAY STUFF IN MY SEARCH HISTORY

 **Imaoka shinobu:**  
i can't look it up, i forgot what the word is  
i think lots of people don't know about it

 **REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
You're telling me I could have this rare genetic condition where I'm not gay no matter what I do  
Are you SURE this is a thing  
If it's rare that means it's like a special power right????  
If it's some kind of elite thing then I probably do have it  
Why have you never mentioned this before?????

 **Imaoka shinobu:**  
it never came up before

 **REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
IF WE CAN DO IT AND ITS NOT GAY THEN WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING AT YOUR APARTMENT  
GET OVER HERE THIS SECOND  
Ok but if you can do some guy you know and not have people call you gay then why doesn't everybody do this  
Are you ABSOLUTELY SURE this is a thing  
I changed my mind you'd better stay where you are

 **Imaoka shinobu:**  
i'm already on the train

 **REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
Oh  
Well train fare really adds up so we'd better not waste the ride


	4. Chapter 4

**REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
Why do you have so many of my clothes at your place

**Imaoka shinobu:**  
just to smell sometimes

**REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
What

**Imaoka shinobu:**  
it calms me down

**REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
Really??????  
Should I be selling them??

**Imaoka shinobu:**  
i'm not sure it works for everybody

**REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
Really  
Well I'll pass my shirt around at work and see

**Imaoka shinobu:**  
i think that's one of the things you can get fired for

**REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
Damn  
Why are there so many of those

* * *

**REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
I'm warning you right now you better not try anything with me because of this gay shit

**Imaoka shinobu:**  
okay

**REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
First of all good glad we're clear on that  
Second of all I've never been so insulted in my life


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the second exchange grew out of considering the idea of imaoka moving during high school, taking into account how he reacts to hiratsuka trying to go pro in the epilogue chapter, and combining that with how we know hiratsuka acts when he needs something from imaoka (demanding it first and then jumping to bribery). it filled out a little but not enough to be a full narrative.

**REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
SUDDENLY I'm supposed to know it's """gay"""" to have a roommate I hold hands with

* * *

 **REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
Hey guess what I'm pregnant

 **Imaoka shinobu:**  
what??

 **REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
Tell your folks you can't leave

 **Imaoka shinobu:**  
Hiracchi, i know you're not really pregnant

 **REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
How would you know you haven't seen me in HOURS

 **Imaoka shinobu:**  
there are at least two reasons you can't be pregnant

 **REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
Well it happened so you're gonna have to live with it

 **Imaoka shinobu:**  
even if you were, which you're not, who says it's mine?

 **REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
I THINK I WOULD KNOW???????

 **Imaoka shinobu:**  
......

 **REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
You think I don't know my own child??

 **Imaoka shinobu:**  
i think i'd know /my/ own child and it's not inside you

 **REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
You're not in tune with our child then and you're gonna be a shitty mom

 **Imaoka shinobu:**  
it's physically impossible.

 **REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
Oh it's very possible

 **Imaoka shinobu:**  
we've never had sex.

 **REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
OF COURSE I DIDNT FUCK YOU don't be nasty

 **Imaoka shinobu:**  
why are you doing this?

 **REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
But I'm still teen pregnant by you and your family has to deal with the consequences and stay here

 **Imaoka shinobu:**  
...i don't want to move either, but we can't really do anything about it

 **REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
We can if you stop being a pussy and tell them about the baby

 **Imaoka shinobu:**  
your plan is to tell my parents you have a baby inside your stomach, and in nine months the baby is gonna come out of your stomach.

 **REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
I READ A BOOK ABOUT HOW TO TRAP A MAN and pregnancy was the NUMBER ONE WAY

 **Imaoka shinobu:**  
this is going to be harder for me than for you

 **REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
NO my emotions are much more powerful than yours

 **Imaoka shinobu:**  
we can talk on the phone if you miss me

 **REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
I'm not gonna MISS you

 **Imaoka shinobu:**  
...fine.

 **REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
You're just not allowed to leave

 **Imaoka shinobu:**  
it sounds like you might miss me

 **REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
Wrong but listen what if we tell them you're pregnant instead it sounds like something you might do

 **Imaoka shinobu:**  
the baby thing really isn't gonna hold up for very long. how's it supposed to work anyway

 **REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
We'll have to get married

 **Imaoka shinobu:**  
really?

 **REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
No you idiot we just take a few years to plan the wedding and then you're old enough to live on your own

 **Imaoka shinobu:**  
it's kind of a waste to throw all the planning away

 **REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
I'm not ready to be tied down  
Especially not to you

 **Imaoka shinobu:**  
could we really get married if we had a baby

 **REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
What the hell are you talking about

 **Imaoka shinobu:**  
like if we found a baby and we both wanted to keep it, do you think they'd have to let us get married

 **REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
How dare you use up my monthly texts on this bullshit

 **Imaoka shinobu:**  
i'm just wondering. everybody says babies need a stable home

 **REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
Why does everybody care so much what a baby thinks!!!!!  
Also if we both wanted the baby the judge would obviously give it to me

 **Imaoka shinobu:**  
i don't know why you would ever think that

 **REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
You can't even keep keep your parents from moving how are you gonna keep a baby from drinking rat poison

 **Imaoka shinobu:**  
i wouldn't keep rat poison near the baby

 **REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
Babies have a thirst for rat poison and they will find it

 **Imaoka shinobu:**  
is this something that happens a lot in your family?

 **REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
Not as much since my parents made that special cage crib

 **Imaoka shinobu:**  
...still, though

 **REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
It fades around age 3 my theory is it's a sign of future greatness

 **Imaoka shinobu:**  
it sounds like you shouldn't have children  
why don't your parents just get rid of the rat poison

 **REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
IT SOUNDS LIKE YOUR FAMILY'S HOUSE IS FULL OF RATS?????

 **Imaoka shinobu:**  
we don't have rats. i've never seen a rat except on tv

 **REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
Burn the house down it'll solve two problems at once

 **Imaoka shinobu:**  
then we'd have to move sooner

 **REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
Stab someone and become a problem child

 **Imaoka shinobu:**  
i already am the problem child.

 **REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
But you haven't stabbed anyone yet  
That I know of

 **Imaoka shinobu:**  
how would stabbing someone keep me from moving?

 **REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
It's definitely holding you back in life somehow

 **Imaoka shinobu:**  
i'd just get arrested, and it'd be worse than moving because you don't get phones in prison

 **REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
FIND SOME GIRL AND KNOCK HER UP FOR REAL THEN I CANT KEEP COMING UP WITH SOLUTIONS

 **Imaoka shinobu:**  
i only know one girl

 **REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
Ok new plan nobody gets pregnant

 **Imaoka shinobu:**  
we could still try getting married

 **REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
But what if I do the knocking up and we pretend it's yours  
Obviously it'll come out too handsome for anyone to think it's yours but it'll buy some time

 **Imaoka shinobu:**  
that won't work

 **REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
WHY

 **Imaoka shinobu:**  
it just won't

 **REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
YOU PITCH SOMETHING THEN ITS LIKE YOU ACTUALLY WANT TO MOVE

 **Imaoka shinobu:**  
suicide pact

 **REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
WHAT is wrong with you

 **Imaoka shinobu:**  
a fake suicide pact

 **REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
Even more useless

 **Imaoka shinobu:**  
i'm out of ideas then

 **REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
Ok well my fingers hurt because you wouldn't shut up for hours so I guess you can just die  
I already had to read part of a book because of your stupid parents and this wasted even more of my beauty sleep

 **Imaoka shinobu:**  
.....i was thinking moving might be better actually

 **REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 **Imaoka shinobu:**  
for me, anyway

 **REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
LISTEN you can't keep comparing yourself to me it's a losing game  
I get that having me around is hard on your self esteem but I promise you're very acceptable

 **Imaoka shinobu:**  
it's not like we can keep hanging out forever

 **REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
Wrong

 **Imaoka shinobu:**  
things change after high school.

 **REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
No

 **Imaoka shinobu:**  
for everybody

 **REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
Nope

 **Imaoka shinobu:**  
and it's probably better that way

 **REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
Why do you hate me

 **Imaoka shinobu:**  
it's just how things are

 **REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
Have some balls for once in your life and tell your parents you're not moving!!!!!!

 **Imaoka shinobu:**  
sometimes people want things, and you wish it was the same thing you wanted, but it isn't and you can't change it. no matter how much you wish you could

 **REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
TELL THEM TO FUCK OFF BECAUSE YOURE MOVING IN WITH US YOU CAN build yourself a doghouse on the lawn it'll be fine

 **Imaoka shinobu:**  
again, it sounds like you shouldn't have children

 **REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
ARE YOU MAD BECAUSE I SAID YOU COULD DIE I DIDNT MEAN IT ALL THE WAY

 **Imaoka shinobu:**  
i just think it has to happen and it'll only get harder, so it's better to do it now

 **REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
No idea what you're talking about but you're definitely wrong

 **Imaoka shinobu:**  
i'm saying we're not gonna do the same thing with our lives, so it's better to start forgetting now

 **REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
And I'm going to sleep so you can think about how dumb you are   
Stew in it


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> developments on the theme of imaoka's dragonball z fanfiction

**REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
Why were you obsessed with Mr. Satan what kind of kid thinks Mr. Satan is the best character

 **Imaoka shinobu:**  
he tried really hard and everybody loved him

 **REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
No he was a loser  
Everybody loved Goku

 **Imaoka shinobu:**  
he was everybody’s hero

 **REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
He WASNT GOKU Goku was the hero

 **Imaoka shinobu:**  
no, nobody knew goku existed. did you even read the whole thing?

 **REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
Goku was THE HERO maybe everybody is an idiot

 **Imaoka shinobu:**  
maybe everybody just doesn't care about goku  
everything's easy for goku

 **REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
He DIED

 **Imaoka shinobu:**  
goku's overrated

 **REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
For the sake of this friendship we're both gonna pretend you didn't say that

 **Imaoka shinobu:**  
you don't even remember half the story

 **REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
I KNOW GOKU DIED FOR YOUR UNGRATEFUL ASS  
And his wife was hot

 **Imaoka shinobu:**  
how was she hot  
i bet you don't even know her name

 **REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
SHE WAS TOTALLY HOT she was always kicking his ass

 **Imaoka shinobu:**  
what's her name

 **REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
I can't believe you don't see how that's hot

 **Imaoka shinobu:**  
what is goku's wife's name

 **REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
SHUT UP  
Her name was Chichi and she was the Ox King's daughter and they had two sons

 **Imaoka shinobu:**  
you looked that up

 **REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
No I didn't  
How do I know YOU haven't been looking everything up???????  
Answer me that

 **Imaoka shinobu:**  
i don't need to look things up, i watched almost every episode  
and i read the whole thing too

 **REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
You're using a smokescreen to try and distract me from whatever the fuck was wrong with you as a kid

 **Imaoka shinobu:**  
i liked the fights

 **REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
You were  
A nerd

 **Imaoka shinobu:**  
it's a really popular show. lots of people watched it

 **REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
They're all nerds  
For eight hundred episodes of aliens flexing and punching each other

 **Imaoka shinobu:**  
i just liked the fights

 **REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
Didn't it make you feel all inadequate with how buff they were and how buff you aren't

 **Imaoka shinobu:**  
i was 7  
and that wasn't really what i was thinking about

 **REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
That's exactly when a man should start feeling inadequate

 **Imaoka shinobu:**  
.....that might just be you.

 **REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
Oh I GET IT you liked the other girl and you're taking it out on me that she didn't get to marry Goku  
Who was the cute blue one

 **Imaoka shinobu:**  
trunks

 **REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
Yeah her  
That was her SON you idiot she was BULMA

 **Imaoka shinobu:**  
i meant bulma

 **REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
You spend your whole childhood on this and you don't even know the blue girl's name

 **Imaoka shinobu:**  
they're really similar names

 **REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
He's not even blue

 **Imaoka shinobu:**  
his shirt was blue

 **REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
ALL THEIR FUCKING SHIRTS ARE BLUE  
Hey I forgot the blonde one she's kinda foxy too  
I'm gonna look up Dragonball Sexy and see what I get

 **Imaoka shinobu:**  
don't do that

 **REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
Yeah I shouldn't have done that  
The blonde one is still hot

 **Imaoka shinobu:**  
there were a couple blonde ones  
but they're all bad choices

 **REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
WHATS YOUR IDEA OF A SEXY WOMAN THEN IF YOURe so smart  
Which one would you do

 **Imaoka shinobu:**  
why do i have to choose from dragonball characters

 **REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
There's like five entire girls how can you not like ANY of them

 **Imaoka shinobu:**  
not my type

 **REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
NONE of them are your type  
What the hell is your type

 **Imaoka shinobu:**  
it's hard to describe

 **REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
Is it aliens did you want to fuck the green aliens

 **Imaoka shinobu:**  
i was 7  
and none of the aliens were girls

 **REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
Nice try but I'm not trusting you to know anything else about this show  
WAIT I FOrgot you were busy being horny for that idol chick

 **Imaoka shinobu:**  
i wasn't "horny" for her

 **REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
Uhhhh yeah you were

 **Imaoka shinobu:**  
she's an artist and it's really disrespectful to reduce her to a sex object

 **REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
You were super horny for her dude

 **Imaoka shinobu:**  
you have no idea what she's been through


End file.
